Jealousy is a weird thing right? Well, its a basic human emotion so. But, my question is how do you not feeling jealous?
The thing that’s been bothering me recently is contentment. It isn’t necessarily about my work. I have come to understand that there will always be good days and bad days at work. Just, I am not just a daughter, sister or a girlfriend but Me! the work I do constitutes a major part of it but cleaning, writing, my craft projects, rocking out to music, watching my TV show, being angry about humans who are inconsiderate to the environment etc. etc. Its endless. All of these constitutes my identity.
I am an optimist, I do try to find the good in everything. And I do believe whole heartedly that whatever I go through, good or bad is a learning experience. I wouldn’t have become the person I am today without going through what I have gone through, and its true for the person I am going to become. I am proud of what I have achieved till now and I do have a vague idea of where I want to go and what all I want to achieve. Its just sometimes, I suffer from a bout of jealousy when I see people achieving so much at a young age. I think weird things sometimes, Jennifer Lawrence won the Oscar when she was 23, what am I doing till now? I am happy for what they have achieved, its just that I start asking myself if I have done enough? What could I have done to achieve more? Reminiscing about the past is a beautiful thing but starting to regret it, not so much. Well the saying goes that grass is greener on the other side. I know, no two individuals are alike, everyone is unique in their own and no two individuals will follow the same path either. Everyone has their own different insecurities, I guess. Its just the feeling of undermining myself is what I want to stop right now. I was discussing this with my boyfriend the other day and he told me to just focus on myself and not pay attention to anything else. He is right, I know. He gives extremely good advice a lot of times.
So focus is the solution. Isn’t it?